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What I Know Is This....

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July 17th, 2007

If you could rename yourself in real life, what would you choose, and why?

(to the people who are owners of the names I 'use'...this is solely my mental rantings and are, by no means, meant to offend you or your lovely lovely names..thank you! and sorry for any..inconvenience..kristina)

First, I shall start by telling you my actual name: Kristina Rene. There are loads of Christinas, but it's just that...my name spelled wrong! I love my name, despite the oddity of it. Or perhaps I love it due to the oddity of it. You see, while everyone else in grade school had a friend with the same name ("we're the jennifers!") I had only similarly oddly named people. My friends Lyndsay, Lacey and Carissa, for example. Anyway, I digress. Oddly enough I've put thought into this topic before as I had an infatuation with Witness Protection as a child.

If I could rename myself, I know for a fact that I'd name myself something just as "rare" as Kristina, but not so rare that people would think I just ran letters together and chose that compilation. I love the name Katarina, but it gives this I don't know, it gives this sense of dark and mysterious to it's owner, and I'm neither dark nor mysterious really. I'm actually quite the opposite. So just as quickly as Katarina comes up, it's shot down.

Up next is a more generic name possibility. Something simple like Catherine, only changed around a bit to make it just as "rare" as my K-name, so Kathryn. Same name, better (shorter) spelling. But then we get to the image given off by the name again, and how it doesn't quite fit. If I hear the name Kathryn (aside from immediately assuming it's spelled as previously typed) I assume that the owner is rather proper and, how shall I say, appears to think they're better than everyone else (whether they mean to or not). So again, I've shot down quite the fabulous possibility.

Now, in order to cut this neat little renaming fiasco short, we'll get to the name that I'd actually use, instead of going through a couple more that I like, but don't quite "fit" into. The name I'd actually choose for myself is Hayleigh Rene. (The middle didn't change because middle names are there for decor anyway.) But I believe that my time spent on rpg's as Hayleigh actually worked out and that I fit the name, both personality and looks wise. And again we come across the name being semi-common, but generally spelled differently (Hayley or Hailey), thusly making my name just as happily "rare" as before. The name Hayleigh offers up the image of a happy, youthful woman that knows herself and is easy to talk to without the "easy" and "richer than you" vibe that the name Hayley (or Hailey) gives off.

So yeah, there you have it, the name I'd give myself if put into Witness Protection, however, now that I've told everyone (the two people that read this), I'll have to change it!

oh so much....

so much crap has happened since i last updated...let's see..where to start?

well..i joined curves (a gym just for women)..and i'm loving it! i've trimmed down a bit..and managed to toss a few ounces of body fat..so that's always fun, right?..i managed to save up plenty of money for my trip to canadia..and it was a load of fun...we hung out and went shopping at random places..and drove cross country (okay..not really..but three hours is forever when you're the driver!) it was on that trip to sauble that i realized how amazing my dad was..he never once complained when he drove us to dallas (a four hour trip)..so yeah..yay dad! we even went to see niagara!! it was gorgeous! i actually got pretty decent photos of the falls..and momma paula asked if i've lost weight..(as i posed on a bench in a WHITE shirt)..so that's amazing...

did i tell ya my car is now paid off?..well it is..we now own the Mazda..and it's still quite loverly...all we need now is to get the liquids and junk under the hood updated and such..cause..yeah..bad owners!

oh..and most recently i got a full time job with tsa! it'll be working split shifts (which means i'll be there for four hours..go home for like..3 hours..and then come back to work for four more hours)...it's going to suck at first...but i'll get used to it..i have a feeling i'll own it and everyone else will wonder how i manage to stay so fabulously fabulous amongst my crappy crappy schedule!

so yeah..that's it in a nutshell, really...still me..still working..still living with the fam..and still single...but ever so fabulous..as always...

there you have it..


March 19th, 2007


there's too much being offered right now!! i'm tryin to save up for the trip..but i just can't stop helping about the house..and with bills! and then..when i finally say, "no more bills!" i get a concert that i can't possibly turn down!! i mean..come on..three days grace in ruston louisiana?!..holy shit man!..besides..i haven't bought anything of theirs..but i love em..so i totally gotta go and buy a shirt..and give em some of the revenue that i think they deserve!! three days grace love! anycrap..i'm gonna hobo it up til then..no movies (cept ones bought by others) no purchases...no nothing..cept bills..about 115 for the phone/month..30 for the patch..and about 125 for loans...so..about 270 from the about 600 i get a month..that's not so bad..i can still have a decent trip to canadia on that savings! yaay

but yeah..there ya go..mini-update!


February 5th, 2007

damn regret!

i used to regret not going to his house that night..and getting what i could..when i could...but now...as i start to think that maybe i was just a "goodbye shreveport" fuck attempt..i no longer regret it...thank you everyone for telling me to listen to myself and go on my instincts when in questionable situations...'s fabulous now...cause i am..once again at one regret in my life...thanks!

thank you again!!

love, hearts,

January 21st, 2007

because it's been awhile?

so yeah..i'm so ready to do schoolwork..that i asked if i could help jessica make her lesson plans for her classes this week...i coloured instruments!

i thought the mini-fringe would be cool...i think i'm going to end up ripping it out during a search..cause..damn..i blink..and then it's in my freakin eye! oh well..i'm adorable...

i got left on the checkpoint with ron and vinny at work today...and..i think i got harassed into asking brian out on friday...however...just cause i said it, doesn't mean imma actually do it..i say a lot of things and never actually do them..i said i'd stop cursing..but shit..hang around a bit and i'll make your sailor uncle blush a little..buahahhaa...okay...so i exaggerate..'s also something i'm good at...they just...sat there going.."so you're going to ask him? do you want me to ask him? he's afraid of rejection, that's why he hasn't asked you already...he's really shy..you should ask him out...where do you want to go eat? i'll text him and ask him, as you..if you ask him out, we'll stop talking about it..forever."
-->they were killing me..so i'm like..imma ask him to see smokin aces on friday...okay..that was the plan all along...now shuddup...i almost (underline almost) feel guilty for saying that..cause i was actually going to ask jesse if he was comin up this weekend and if he wanted to see it..buahaha...(though i doubt his happy ass will be trippin up here again any time soon)
-->brian's nice and all, but i just don't feel as comfortable talking to him as i did jesse..and i don't know why..maybe it is that whole.."super shy" thing..and how i don't much care for shyness in guys (i know..you're thinking..ding! ding! ding! we have a winner..but iono)or if it's the fact that i can see over his head, or maybe that he's into everything i'm not..or that he's a coworker..i see a friendship..but not molesting...i think my hands are bigger than his

and then there's johnathan..or jonathan..what the hell ever...the guy from myspace, who claims to "love me", claims i'm "sexy" and "beautiful" and does all that stupid *pins you against a wall and kisses you sweetly* shit (i simply avoid it by going: *blink*)...seriously thinkin about dropping some myspace friends if you catch that drift...what the hell, man..why can't i find one that claims all that shit in real life...THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MOVE?!

people with penises make my head hurt...and i just don't like chicks...so there..i'm doomed

"the life i dream about, is so much better than this..i never thought i'd be stuck in this mess" --three days grace

indeed, three days grace..indeed

sending love to the few that read this junk


January 2nd, 2007

that tickles me..but other than that..it's relatively pointless..

....i can't wait til i get to put my paychecks in an account solely for canada
....i need to find paintballers
....i want to find someone that i want to spend time with
....i can almost look at my arms..and not cringe..yaay!
....i still miss you, but it's casually fading
....i never thought i'd be telling anyone "let's just be friends"
....i am, in fact, scared of our recertification drills
....i am, in fact, excited about the idea of having to travel for remediation courses if i fail
....i hate that i'm only 24 and yet my back is trying to catch in the middle
....i don't have any idea as to how this year is going to play out, and that freaks me a bit
....i can't wait til june/july...cause omg, right?!
....i am going to get another tattoo
....i don't know what of though..hehehe
....i don't know why, but i want to skydive
....i am ecstatic to apply for a passport
....i think i'm almost ready to move out
....i love my friends
....i honestly do want a guy in my life..and that creeps me out
....i am happy for you, he's very nice
....i am tired of typing...so goodnight/day..what the crap ever...


November 28th, 2006

the new things

about my "list of things i can do:" okay..so i can ice skate now! i totally can! not very well, but still..ice skating by a louisianian or whatever...go me! i made it all the way around the middle of the rink, without falling quite a few times! yaaay! oh yeah..and add french braiding..wee (though..also craptastic..but shit..it was my hair i was braiding..it was hard!)

about work and life: i'm clumsy. the bruise that was on my shin from skating last time was finally going away and then i whacked a freakin bag on it and rebruised it. freakin awful. but now i realize that it's just one of about one hundred bruises that i have from the hip down (cause i'm not mentioning the big one on my ass from not tackling some little kid on the ice rink)..i think i'll not be wearing a skirt anytime soon, cause one bruise is fine..but one hundred fingerprint sized bruises, and a small laceration are a bit hard to explain. anycrap..no skirts..nothing but pants from now till, uh, say..middle of january? best news: i think mr. joe (the schedule maker) has it out for me..he's had me working downstairs for the last two weeks...and yay..i get to see jesse..but oy vey..i get to whack more and more bags on my sweet little pale legs...(use the term little lightly please) even though i have lost like 20 lbs now)

about jesse: ..things are the definition of confusing...i went to his house..and was laying on his bed..rubbing his head (the one above his shoulders you freaks) and he still didn't make any horntastic moves..shit..the man was so comfortable he actually blacked out a bit (which kinda made me feel like a weirdo/loser)..but i can't tell if he's just being a gentleman because he wants more than a hit it and quit it relationship or if he's putting on the brakes before the move to alexandria (which i understand)..but shit..i don't want..cause his kiss made me forget my address...and that's a great thing....we've been talking for about two months now..and been on half a dozen dates (cause half a dozen sounds bigger than six, right?..pssht)...and sure..it's only like..an hour away, but jeez..stupid new job, stupid jesse wanting to be a manager of an entire branch of airline..freaking ambitious asshat (with perfect fluffy lips..shuddup..fluffy)...crap..crap crappity crap crap..however...wednesday is looking promising for finding out what's going on, though...it's his going away party (which is sad)..but then well..he invited me to his place after and said that if he'd been drinking i'd see more than the show that i'd come to see...i said "win for me" cause jeez..i think if i go much longer into adulthood sans sex..i might become an actual special person...(and i do feel like a whore thinking that..but shit..i'm normal!..you don't know!) :D

about my big decision: when should i tell him that i not only look completely innocent, but that i am, in fact, innocent? khara said tell him immediately before insertion (she's part freak) and ryan said if it were him..he'd like to know beforehand (as in a few days or so)...but this is coming from people who de-virgined with other virgins...(fucking normal fucks)...so..no big surprises in the realm of life...i, on the other hand, am with a 31 year old...so..kinda shocking i think..and i want to tell him..but i don't want him to go..*eep..virgin..and run off to alexandria*...(but he could do just the opposite and go..*kickass..untouched territory*...) sex makes me sick...and yet..yeah..

any advice or ideas on that would be fab..and please tell me why things are so fucking confusing? please..tell me!

about home life: it's gay..and if it's all the same to you..i'd rather not talk about it...so moving on

about my car: my front brakes started grinding (cause they're rotary brakes) so i went to get them changed..and the geniuses at the car place only checked the front brakes..so now the back brakes are grinding so loudly when i stop..that it sounds like i'm dragging a volkswagen beetle behind me ...(which is funny to think about..but in all actuality, quite gay)

about missing peoples: it's you! i miss you..and i know that you're busy and i'm busy..so we're both gay in the whole scheduling shit..but still..i miss you..cause i wanna read "you're a crapping hobag" after i tell you that i WANT jesse to get handsy..and i want to know what you think about the whole "by the way i'm a newbie to this whole experience" speech that i'll eventually have to give

okay..here's hoping i can catch you some time soon, cassie-lou!

love you guys,

November 24th, 2006

(no subject)


- Make a post (public, friendslocked, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fun ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.
- If you wish for real possible things, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.
- Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ, or link to this post so that the holiday joy will spread.


- Surf around your friends list (or friend's friends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:
- If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.
- Once a wish has been granted, it will be crossed off my list.

You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call.

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

1. a freakin dock for my ipod (hey..it said i could list big..what?)
2. dangly earrings!
3. cute/witty shirts (you know the kind)
4. my own place?
5. to go full time at work (so i can get my own place)
6. a passport!
7. cheaper tickets to canadia!
8. pretty socks!
9. surprises...(always..i heart em! (well, most of em..)
10. my freakin dad to go back to work and stop being all sad and depressed..cause..it's getting old...seriously..old

and there you have it...my list of things that can almost be gotten by my adoring reader(s)...yaay...


November 13th, 2006

cause updates are fab

okay..a little bit of info for you:

first..work life? well..about that..i was moved to morning shift (think 5 am to 9 am most days..then 4 am to noon on saturdays)..i played that little game for three days and decided it wasn't for me (okay..i played for two days..the third was a formality)...and then i made my way back to afternoons...so..how'd i get out of mornings, you ask? a fabulously fabulous chick at work named Kianca had afternoons..but she said she didn't mind working mornings, and that work was work..so meh, if i wanted out of them..so yeah..i jumped on that..cause shit, man..waking up at 4 am is gay as hell...God bless those of you who wake up that early and actually function!

next..a social life? yes..i am in fact dating someone..and it's weird..but it's a good weird..we've been on *thinks*..two dates..and have been "talking" for about a month now...and for some damned reason i can't get him out of my head (prolly cause it's my first actual dating experience)..and save the "gawd how lame..24 and just now dating" comments...i know, okay..i know. but yeah..first date was a movie..and the second date was me being fabulously awful at poker at his friends' house (that's a lie..i came in third and that's only because the second place guy was able to buy back in after i put him out..asshat mark)..and until after that night of gaming..i was confused about what was going on..friends or more...but yeah..it's more..cause friends don't kiss like that :D..well..none of my friends kiss like that..who are you hanging out with?..freaks...hehehe

lastly...uuh..iono..oh! the evening shift people have all but married me to one of my coworkers..they're all.."hey..you should hit on brian." "you should ask brian out" "you should marry brian" okay..the last one was made up out of exaggeration..but you get the point. so yeah...weird

and there you go..that's everything weird and fab that's been going on..

love ya's,

October 24th, 2006

you did what?...

stalking, love
okay..so as you guys know i've finally gotten a real life job..and it's fab. well last night was the first night i went and hung out with some of the people from work. i say people when i really mean guys..it was me and like 5 guys (only one of which is married and old...the rest are age appropriate and single)and it was fun.

i tried my first beer..it tasted like ass flavoured water (totally not recommended..stick to rum..'s got taste) but i drank approximately 20 oz of it (that's two oz short of the entire thing) before i gave up and got a real drink (the pepper special..had crown, rum, and three other shots in it..as well as some fruit juices)..and that was a drink! but i think i drank them too quickly..for i do not remember seeing the first quarter of the football game (was the purpose of the meeting to begin with)

anycrap..the weird thing was how i was acting toward all the guys..making sure my ass art was hanging out and easily viewed by each that passed..and then when we finally got our table (about an hour later)..i sat by jesse and did my best to all but sit in his lap..my ass was all up on his leg and hand when he put it down on his knee..and i absolutely loved it..not that he was touching me..or that i was touching him..but that i had the balls to let it happen and not back away. but the touching was nice :D (nothing too too kinky..as i was there with coworkers..freaks)

who is this crazy ballsy person and where did sweet little shy Kristina go? is it because i got a federal job as my first job and managed to skip the minimum wage war altogether? or is it because i'm finally realizing that shy is a pain in the ass and should be avoided most days? or is it because i'm almost 24 and sick of being sweet "innocent" Kristina?...iono yet willis..but when i learn the answer..i'll let you in on it..

love peeps,
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